Lately I have been thinking about the process of unraveling. I witness it happening within. I watch it happening all around me. It feels like all I am doing every day is trying to make new shapes out of things that are resistant to form. Systems are literally crumbling and those who are trying to hold on to these ways know they are lying to everyone including themselves because they have no capacity to begin to imagine. Mostly because they don’t even know why they do what they do. The lack of purpose and direction by those that have the resource and influence to do so are driving us off a cliff. We have no one but ourselves to believe in. But the binary of the individual and the collective has become a new abstraction.
Last month, I spent a few days in residency at the Prattsville Arts Center, where I made a choice to tear apart an essay concept that I just couldn’t get to work as a straightforward essay. Then I had this idea that I am pretty excited about, until I realized it also meant that this idea had the potential to unravel the whole shape of the collection. And usually I feel great about something like this but my first thought was that this might turn off agents so I spent the next three days cleansing myself of that thought by honing in on this choice, sculpting it so it could not be refused and that was kind of healing to lean into a trepidation until it was the sole path, the only one that held a kind of vision that actually felt like mine. And I decided to be unafraid of that because this is the climate we now live in, being vigilant in the face of all that one can be afraid of.
I am increasingly becoming so bored with social media being the only stage and also wonder if any stage at all can hold what we need and then I think of any great live music event I have ever seen and remember that I do know what it means to be alive. So, I just want more of that. And I wonder why there seem to be so many people out there determined to kill all the joy but I can’t think about it for too long because then I will sink into a malaise that will be the end of me.
A terrible loss has left me feeling like a shirt that has been left turned inside out. The past few weeks have been hard, and through it I was called to act on my impulses as an organizer of the community I shared this loss with, and I am still working through that experience and what it brought up for me. With all the uncertainty in the world, I am finding myself a little at bay trying to find the form of a life (again), or what I think normal people call a schedule. Mostly because survival these days means to splinter yourself into a million pieces, and it is a privilege to be able to do any work with any level of consistency and be compensated for it. One part of me feels like I am fucking everything up and then another part of me feels like everything I have going on, at least on the self initiated front, is going just fine and that gives me a kind of comfort. I feel further away from my book than I have in a long time, but also feel like I am living the story, and I am coming to accept that is part of the process too. This is not the most cohesive post, but all I can say at my most formless. I am listening to the podcast Vibe Check that is hosted by the poet Saaed Jones among others. He just stated that his wishes for the summer are, “I just want to be stupid, hot and working on my book.”
Same, girl, same.
stuff happening
For Hudson Pride on Saturday June 21st, I will be reading tarot ($45 Pride special) from 4-6pm in the U-Haul at the Second Date party, right after the parade at the Park Theater on Warren Street.
Come join us for the second, annual U-Haul Party where there is no place like home and any friend of Dorothy is welcome! Second Date is the meta U-Haul themed block party for queer community hosted by Lionheart Psychotherapy, focused on creating a welcoming space for mental wellness and celebration. This year we will be offering the gayest immersive Oz journey, decorating yellow bricks in honor of Mother Marsha, featuring local artists, a DJ, great food and a few other surprises!
Lesbians U-Haul, witchy queers defy expectations and redefine the magic of home.
Can't wait to see you there! Together, we are unlimited!
Look at OutHudson and Lionheart before Pride to get ahead on the bidding on our auction item! Tony and Oscar award winning costume designer, Paul Tazwell, has signed an original design from Death Becomes Her! Its, without a doubt, for the gays and features some ruby slippers!
On Tuesday, June 24th, 6-8pm, I will be facilitating TAROT CLUB at GOODWITCH Studio in Hudson where we will focus on Blue Vervain, Knight of Swords and Temperance and be reading tarot spreads inspired by these connections. My last post goes into more detail about all of that. You can register here : $25 (in person with herbal tincture) or $15 (virtual from anywhere).
I am hopping on the East Coast wing of the tour for the WITCH anthology out by Dopamine Books, where my essay I AM BECAUSE MY LITTLE DOG KNOWS ME is included.
First date: BOSTON Sunday June 29th 6pm -10pm Papercuts Books is hosting a WITCH Anthology + Valencia screening on the lawn at the Loring-Greenough House in Jamaica Plains.
It's going to be a WITCH Anthology reading / Q+A followed by a little break and then a screening of the film version of Michelle Tea’s book Valencia to celebrate the 25th anniversary version out this month.
paying attention
Hacks (HBO Max)
I really love this show for many reasons but personally I appreciate the realistic portrayal of life within the Hollywood machine and with this last season, the very real schism between women on an intergenerational level and how women hold each other back. They kind of jump the shark on the dynamic within the season and it sort of lost traction for me. I mean, I get it because I think this is the last season and they didn’t want to end on that note between the two main protagonists but it doesn’t exactly ring as real sadly.
I am not usually one to write about food stuff but recently I have come to discover vanilla ice cream with a drizzle of olive oil equals luxury for the people and I feel compelled to share this information.
Arthur Jafa and Theaster Gates in conversation at the MCA: Just watch it.
Lucy Sante’s Substack: How to Sit Down
stuff to think about
