Matt Wolf’s extraordinary documentary "Pee Wee as Himself" has been on my mind all summer. The monthly writing group I am a part of can attest to how much I admire Wolf’s reframing of Reubens’ being difficult on camera, which can also be seen as rather charming in a bratty way, as a way to reflect the arc within the narrative as it plays out within the film. It is the best example of ‘showing, not telling’ I have ever seen, a real master class in handling the ‘difficult subject’.
In the piece, there is a lot to unpack in regards to how the blatantly homophobic scandal affected Reuben’s career, and also in how Wolf so sensitively handled the obvious trauma that his subject is left with as a result of it, and how the conceptual decision he made to completely immerse himself in the Pee Wee persona ended up cementing his alienation. Going back to my first point, how showing Reuben’s discomfort in giving over his narrative to another says way more than any talking head observational interview ever could.
I adored Pee Wee Herman when I was a kid and was so jealous of his uber femme friend Miss Yvonne for getting to hang out with him. He had this sequence where he would pull random toys and objects from a bag and do these improvs with them on the spot, and it made me laugh till my sides hurt. It still does.
I love how the film reflects on the time he spends talking about his art school days at Cal Arts, and how dalliances with the avant garde and drag honed his unique star quality into subverting the mainstream with homages to Warhol like the infamous dog eating food scene in one episode or the dancing in his mother’s heels sequence. I have been moved from talking to dear friends who have devoted their life to art and all things weird to discover how deeply affected they had been by his desire to teach children ‘what non conformity is and that it was ok to not follow the rules and do things your way.’as Reubens state in the film. I love how he let us know we were ok for being weird.
My favorite part is when he talks about deciding to do his live television pilot in Los Angeles. When he says, “I will change my life. I will do this myself.”, it rings so true, the inner launch one feels in deciding to put their head down and make something out of thin air. When you are done asking for permission.
Then, we launch into the behind-the-scenes of how his infamous Pee Herman midnight show came to be in the most DIY and punk way possible. Enter the genius vision of Gary Panter and how long that collaboration lasted from then and then all the way to the television show which brought in other underground legends like Wayne White to become ‘a performance artist in the mainstream’.
There are so many layers within the tragedy of this story but the most poignant for me is how such a pure intention to encourage acceptance and joy through art could be so maimed by such hatred and ill will.
It’s making me think about a conversation I just taped for the Wave Farm show (posted next week) with access ecologist/artist organizer kevin gotkin about the concept of ‘access magic’ and how Paul Reubens was a real conduit for exactly that and how I hope that through this film he can be remembered for all the good he did with his work.
I will close with the opening sequence which still gives me the same little buzz it used to give me every Saturday morning so long ago.
EXTRA MOMENT OR PROMOTION
Part of the reason this essay post is for July/August is because I am going through a massive life re-structuring this summer to make all my projects more sustainable and productive and hopefully make life a little bit more enjoyable and balanced for me. Fingers crossed……
I have many new things to announce but as details still need to be sorted, all I will say for now is STAY TUNED.
As I mentioned before, I will be posting this month’s MISSIVES radio episode with kevin gotkin next week. So excited about the upcoming guests that I have lined up in the next few months and Tarot Club at the GOODWITCH is going strong.
The September pairing will be Reishi and The Hermit card (I am so excited to talk about it!)and will be happening again on Tuesday, September 2nd from 6pm - 8pm EST. Both in person and virtual. Sign up here!
PAYING ATTENTION
Las Culturistas brings me so much joy every week and last week’s Awards Show was honestly just the piece of subversion and entertainment to counter all the trouble in the world. It’s also hard for me to not think about the legacy of Paul Reubens again in thinking about what it truly means to queer the mainstream and how well Bowen and Matt are doing just that.
I am in the camp of people who have been hate watching And Just Like That so hard that at times, I felt convinced that it was all AI avatars to explain the terrible writing and dead in the eye performance style of the entire cast (including Patti Lupone!)And then they announce this is the final season, and I feel sad about it. Please someone explain to me what is going on because literally nothing makes sense anymore.
The full record is not out yet but I can’t stop listening to the first track off of Blood Orange’s next one “Somewhere in Between”. Can’t wait for the rest.
ORGS TO DONATE TO:
So many people are in trouble, so many mutual aid calls to action I realize but these are two that have some personal community connection that I feel compelled to share to help amplify their situations. I hope you will take a minute.
A NY Born and raised Black scientist and abolitionist who has shaped vital liberation movements needs urgent mutual aid support. She’s navigating a period of intense transition following a series of deaths in her life and family. Immediate needs include $500 to secure urgent transportation and accommodation, while $2000 would support living expenses. Many blessings and thanks for the support. You can share any contributions via paypal.com/cynthmalone
The artist Kinlaw’s parents are in the middle of a nightmare as they struggle with our broken medical system and are in the process of losing their home. They have set up a Go Fund Me to help them get through the next year.
One last shout to our beloved Sponsor link Lionheart Psychotherapy which is a local mental health organization run which is known for their mental health events outside of the therapy room. This summer, they hosted another successful Pride event in Hudson NY, complete with an auction raising money for local queer and immigrant community. (I read tarot at it and it was so much fun!) A signed original costume design by Tony, Oscar, Academy Award etc winner, Paul Tazwell, from Death Becomes Her was the item up for bid and now has a new home! Fall events and groups are coming, stay tuned for announcements here!
Lionheart's Residency Program is in full swing! Anyone is welcome to come and see a Lionheart resident for counseling, no insurance necessary, for $30. This allows sustainable therapy to be available for all. There is a sliding scale available.
For anyone, anywhere in the country, dealing with ICE, we are offering 5 free sessions to start and can extend for further support if needed.
To inquire about any of these offerings, please write info@lionheartpsychotherapy.com
Let us all continue to have brave hearts, gentle minds and lead with courage.